Your EX will come back and WHY YOU SHOULD AVOID HIM

SOMETIMES ITS JUST A LATE NIGHT PHONE CALL AND THAT’S IT. All that month long waiting for the time that you can finally say to your friends that you have moved on with him was gone to waste AF– Ugh. And you’re dead. But that’s the reality most of us deal sometimes.

I recall when I split up with my first boyfriend, I was truly devastated. He wasn’t a great partner but I was young and naive at the time and thought he was the love of my life. I recall my friend vehemently saying that he’ll come back…they always come back! In the back of my mind I thought no he won’t. Not only is he stubborn but we didn’t break up on the best of terms. Surprise, just a month (thru a late night phone call LOL) later he came back.
I assure you for the most part your ex will come back on the scene. They may not openly say they want you back but I guarantee they’ll reappear. Their words and actions will indirectly say that they want to be around in some form. However the motives behind their sudden return aren’t always clean cut. Is he playing games with me? Does he want to give the relationship another go? I read a great piece on Madame Noire website about exes coming back and since its too timely (yes i have so many friends who need this right now) i decided to add my thoughts on it.
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1. He misses you
Despite the cause of your split you’ll definitely be missed. We all know the saying you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Unfortunately some of us take our partner for granted and don’t appreciate them as much as we should while in a relationship. Once they’ve left you have time to reflect on the, should a, could a, would as. Sometimes it takes you to leave before your ex partner can recognize whether they can treat you right and enable you both to have the relationship you want and deserve.
2. He knows you’ll take him back.
Your ex knows you better than you think. If I had a pound for every time one of my girlfriends said that they were done with their ex and that they won’t be giving them the time of day again *yawn* I’m guilty of throwing around that statement too. He’s lost me for good….blah, blah. All it takes is one phone call, you hear their dulcet tones and you’re back to square one. All that strength you’d found to get yourself back on track goes out the window and your back to an emotional wreck. Not sure whether to consider giving him another chance. When we want things to work we end up believing that this time it will be different. A good friend of mine is convinced people don’t change; I’m still undecided. The fact is things seem nice and sweet for the first few months then old habits return and your back where you started.
3. He’s Bored.
This is why you must be careful not to jump straight back into the arms of your ex. The reason behind your separation will determine whether you want to give things another go. For this reason you should proceed with caution there’s no rush. Don’t let familiarity cause you to make any hasty decisions. Your ex may have a selection of people he’s entertaining but their not quite cutting it. You’d be surprised how that one phone call spirals into a rendezvous. Don’t mistake his boredom for wanting to get back into a serious relationship with you.
4. There’s No One Else Around.
If your ex hasn’t found a new beau don’t be surprised if your phone starts ringing. It may just be that you’re wanted for intimacy nothing more, nothing less. As I mentioned in point 2 when we’re used to peoples traits and once sex is added to the equation it’s easy to go back to what you know. No one wants to be alone at the best of times and you may be there to fill the gap until someone new comes along.
5. You’ve moved on.
Is it just me or do you find your exes always come back once you’ve moved on, what is that? Not necessarily within a new relationship but you’ve washed your hands of your ex and have no intentions of getting them dirty again. The love has well and truly gone. The thing is once you’ve moved on from the heartbreak and state of depression you return to a state of happiness. Your more confident and have learnt from the experience When your ex sees you content and positive it reminds them of the person you were when you first met. Before things got deep and heavy and before nagging Norah emerged. More than likely your ex will be drawn to your renewed confidence and will end up coming back within your radar. Maybe it’s the challenge of wanting what they can’t have?
I have taken some of my exes back thinking that sex is still good but boy i was wrong. Taking your ex back isn’t a good idea even if you want him back. Just enjoy the satisfaction that he or she wants you back after treating you like crap. Let their wanting you back be an ego booster to you but don’t go into a relationship. It is tempting to take them back because the day they dropped you obviously the feelings and the sex was good but it no longer the same. Coz you can sleep with him and realise the sex is no longer as good.

Then when you do the dumping then you are considered the villain forgetting how they pretended you don’t exist for the past months while ignoring your text, calls ,emails– all that crap. So if you get back with me don’t be surprised to find yourself on the chopping block. THERE.

 

I’m not saying it always end that way but for me getting back with them is just a way of finding out if they were really over you. So don’t be fooled.

 

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THE BUN BUN TALES

Whether you admit it or not, there are some parts of a male physique we love to drool over with. In my case, i just love staring at ginormous, bubble-luscious, well endowed BUTT. Currently i have a picture here of my dream BUNS, which will be my inspiration for the next couple of months since i am back with my workout (check out this post i made in IG – > https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152773230380982&set=a.10151139053875982.485147.578515981&type=1&theater)

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i just wish my BF has this kind of booty too. 🙂

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ONE FRIENDLY REMINDER

I am quite offended by the way some of my readers treat me. As if i should owe them something! LOL I am not a writer, neither a professional one. And i admit i am really not good in my English class. But i still want to share some stories etc. So please please be kind and spare me all your grammar lessons. Thanks!

But here’s where i am proud and good at. Doing stuff like music videos. For those who haven’t seen this, enjoy!

I write to express, not to impress. I hope i made that clear. 🙂

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THE AWFUL TRUTH ABOUT GAY BREAK UPS

Not all love stories have beautiful endings. Some have failed and died and eventually becomes a ghost of our relationships past. We’ve all been there. And even that we don’t want to admit it, there always a part of us questioning why do shits like that happen.

Okay, about 3 relationships ago, i was in a complicated relationship with a discreet gay guy. I thought that, during those years, it will be acceptable to succumb to his discretion and all since my so called fairy tale fascination tells me that we will be living in a blah blah happy kind of world because for i know during that time he’s like this and he is like what i want and he likes me to0 but he is such a douche and– to make the story short, we ended up not satisfied with one another. And it was a disaster.

And i tell you it was really hard. I been there and God knows i almost want to end my life right then and there. That sudden death of romance is as painful as dying literally.

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If you ever been in that situation the first two weeks will be the hardest of them all.You will miss him no matter 
how nicely or how badly he 
treated you and no matter 
how long or how little you 
had him you will miss 
him and you will want him 
to be the one that comforts 
you. AND THATS THE AWFUL TRUTH.

And it hurts so much more you will want to know 
why he did this to you and you 
will scream at the world and be 
angry even at the flowers that 
grow from the soil of the earth 
and you will collapse on the floor 
like a leaf falling from its tree and 
you will feel lost like a tourist in a 
foreign city and you will feel so 
numb that you will have to check 
if your heart is even beating and 
I am not going to sugarcoat it for 
you —– I am not going to tell you 
that he will come back and lift you 
out of your grave because the truth 
is you will have to stitch your body
back together and you will have 
to be the one that cleans the 
waterfall of tears that have 
splashed your cheeks and no 
matter how much you wish 
for him to come back you will 
have to learn that most stars 
are already dead in light-years 
and you have to be the one 
that fixes your own gears of 
your contraption because
 you are the only one that can 
swim when you are drowning 
in your own blood!

So there. The only way is to face is to be man enough to pick up the pieces, pull yourself together and just move on and follow this simple rules:

BE BRAVE.

GO OUT AND MEET AND CREATE NEW SET OF FRIENDS.

FOCUS ON YOUR WELL BEING.

ALWAYS DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

PRAY.

AND BE BRAVE.

And as for my EX, I know that I can never go back to the amazing and beautiful time I shared with him. he probably won’t see this post, but if he does, then FUCK YOU. hahaha

 

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Gay Relationships Don’t Last Because….

Disclaimer: Hi! This is Ian Galsim. I am not a professional writer neither a good blogger. I’m just trying to share my thoughts here. If you have any stories that you would like to share, kindly email me at iangalsim25@gmail.com . Thanks! 🙂

This is a deep and complex issue, so I am only going to scratch the surface. Here are my top five reasons why gay relationships generally don’t work out and what YOU can do to prevent it.

1. We Don’t Believe In Dating Anymore

Let’s say Martin goes to the club. Martin meets Anthony, they dance, they chill, they get to know each other. Two things are probably going to happen. Either they are going to exchange numbers and hook up later or they are going to go to one’s place and hook up there. They have sex and several days later, they are a couple. A couple weeks later, they break up and bitter  Martin is back at the club.

Now for some people, they are not really relationship material and they are aware, so they don’t seek relationships, they just want to hook up (like having Grndr, PR and all that Gay apps) and that’s the end.But if you are looking for a relationship, the FIRST thing you need to do is to get to know the person.Dating is like an interview for a job.

You need to know who you are dealing with and be honest with who you are. Too often men try to be who they are not to please someone they are interested in and that never good. Engage in good conversations and ask questions. (talking about sex on the first couple of conversations is a NO NO!). Get to know his friends and family. Take NOTES!

Sustain from having sex! I know this is hard for some who have a higher sex drive but trust me, if the person is worth it, the sex is going to be awesome. You don’t have to sleep with every dude that you meet. Get to know him a little while longer. One thing I have realize is that a REAL man will respect you a whole lot more when you do this. (it is in my 30s that i only realised this! haha) But go , Do IT!

Lastly, you should not be looking for love in the CLUB. YOU SHOULD NOT BE LOOKING FOR LOVE IN THE CLUB! I do understand that for some people, the clubhouse is where the gays are most likely to congregate but you can meet that special someone ANYWHERE.(Church, Grocery Store, Neighborhood, School, Gym) Get out and get a life!

2. It’s ALL About You And Not US!

For some of us, we are used to be alone and independent. We are used to going out and not having to worry about that significant other at home. The thing is, when you are in a relationship, it’s no longer about YOU. In a healthy relationship, you can have a romantic relationship but still enjoy the company of your friends. The key is prioritizing your relationships. Your relationship with family, your relationship with your friends and your relationship with your significant other. Set out and communicate with your partner. Allow each other to have a life outside of the relationship but keep that communication OPEN! Be honest with each other!

3. The Grass Is Always Greener.. (or There’s always so many Fish in the sea)

This is a major problem for us gay man, we think the grass is always greener on the other side. You been with Marci for a while now and the ‘honeymoon’ stage has long worn off. You been checking Johnathan out and on the surface it seems that he got it going on. Nice house, nice job, nice car, always rocking the latest threads but what you don’t know is he got bad credit, He is about to get evicted from that house he is renting, His car is in danger of being reposed and he is THIS close to losing that job! But you don’t see it and cheat on Jerry with Johnny Boy. We ALL know how that ends.

. Don’t fall for that facade!

Also know that relationships are not forever. You have some people who come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime and then there is life.. Know the difference and learn as you go. You might get hurt but MOVE ON and don’t cling to the past!

4.Guys Want Too Damn Much But Can’t Match Up

You want a man with a good job, but you don’t have a job. You want a man with a nice car, but you ride the MRT. You don’t want him to cheat or lie but ALL your relationships failed because you did both. He has to be model material, a certain height, a certain build and he MUST be masculine.

And you wonder why you are STILL single and lonely..

You can’t demand what you don’t have. If you want all of those things (some which is just plain unrealistic and shallow), you must be able to match up. I am not saying that you have to setting for less, but at least inspire to be what you asking for in a man. Understand that you may not get what you want on that imaginary list. Be CAREFUL what you ask for.

Dig a little deeper. Does he has dreams and goals? Is he putting it into action? What is his mental state like? Make sure he respects you. Make sure he is good to his mama. Have morals and standards. That kind of thing.

5. You Don’t Even Know Or Love Who YOU Are.

Before you can even THINK about a relationship, you need to KNOW who you are. Be comfortable in your own skin. Be your OWN person. We all have our types but there is nothing sexier then a man who can stand on his own and is CONFIDENT (NOT COCKY). When you have figure out who you are, LOVE yourself! Like Rupaul says, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the HELL is somebody gonna love you?”

The TRUTH is NO MAN on this earth can love you better then you can love yourself. Start by taking a good long look in the mirror and if there is something you want to change or don’t like, CHANGE IT! Pray over what you can’t change and KNOW the difference.

Tell yourself in that mirror that you love yourself and that you are responsible for your OWN happiness! Take YOURSELF out on a date. Treat yourself every now and then! Be GOOD to yourself and when you DO find that good man, treat him the way you will treat yourself.

THE BEST ADVICE FOR LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP IS TO NOT LOOK AT ALL. SAY A LITTLE PRAYER AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. WHEN THE TIME COMES, THE RIGHT ONE WILL COME ALONG WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECTED!

There are millions of reason as to why gay relationships don’t work out. Gay people struggle to nurture their relationships in a society that still offers none of the same support heterosexual couples value. There are internal and external problems faced by two men or two women as they create a life together, that heterosexual couples might just never experience. Some of these may even be subconscious.

A few examples:

-inability to marry under the law

-issues preventing couples from adopting

-conflicting feelings based on religious beliefs

-parents unacceptability of child’s homosexuality

-society’s views/beliefs of homosexual relationships

-lack of visible examples of long lasting gay relationships

-subconscious self-sabotaging of relationships based on years of negative internalising

 

The truth is, there are many, many gay relationships out there that have survived longer than most heterosexual marriages. These are sadly hidden from both the homosexual and gay community. It is possible to find the special someone who is suitable for a healthy relationship.

*Inspired article from theluckystar 

 

Update:

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